


The Haunting

by Lycanthrope, VexedBeverage



Category: The Yogscast
Genre: Comedy, Gen, horror?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-25 15:35:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9826772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lycanthrope/pseuds/Lycanthrope, https://archiveofourown.org/users/VexedBeverage/pseuds/VexedBeverage
Summary: A horror fic featuring Kim and Duncan for the amazing Livid_Silver.We hope you had a great birthday!





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Livid_Silver](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Livid_Silver/gifts).



Duncan swapped the knife to his other hand as he used his right to pull his phone out of his pocket to see who was calling him at eleven am on a Saturday morning. Hitting the answer button, he balanced the phone on his shoulder and pressed his ear against it, once again taking the knife back in his hand. 

“Hey Kim.” 

“It’s happening again.” Kim replied, without a greeting to the man. “It’s really freaking me out, Duncan. I need you to come over.” 

Resisting rolling his eyes, because he just knew she would somehow know he had done it, the blonde man continued to spread jam on his now cold toast. “It’s a new house, there’s going to be some weird noises and stuff.” 

“Creaking floorboards and the house settling I can handle. What I can’t handle is hearing someone calling my name from inside my own house when there isn’t anyone here, Duncan.” 

Duncan sighed before taking a bite from his toast, replying to the woman on the other end of the phone with his mouth full. “It’s your imagination, Kim. You’ve been playing too much Resident Evil again and it’s got you jumpy.” 

“Okay, first of all. Don't speak with your mouth full. Secondly, I have been playing horror games since around the time I learned to speak. I don't scare easily.” She stated in a huff. “And don’t roll your eyes at me.” 

Duncan sighed. “I tried really hard not to.” He whined. “You’re just making it really difficult.” 

“Yes. I know. But can you just for once in your life…” Kim paused. The line going silent. 

“Kim?” Duncan asked. His only response static. He dropped his toast to the counter top and pulled his phone from his shoulder to check his signal was still strong. Yep four bars. That should be enough. “Kim?” He said a little louder bringing the device back to his ear. 

 

“Shhhh.” She hissed down the line. They were both quiet for a few moments and he heard her let out a long breath. “Okay. I think it’s gone.” 

“Kim.” Duncan said leaning back against the counter. “You have an intruder alarm, flood lights on the front and back plus two dead bolts, on each door. Nothing is going to get into the house without you knowing about it.”

“Then why does something keep whispering?” Kim asked snappily. 

“I didn’t hear anything.” Duncan replied. 

“Of course you didn’t. It was whispering, I could barely hear it.”

“How silly of me.” Duncan said shaking his head. 

“Look Duncan.” Kim said. “Can you just come round. We’ll play a game, you’ll make the bad things go away and I’ll even cook.” 

Duncan’s eyes narrowed a little. “What are you making?” 

“Does it matter. You like all my cooking.” Kim said. 

“You make a very good point.” Duncan said looking down at his half burnt, cold, now sticking to his fingers toast. Then promptly dropped it into the bin. “What time is dinner?”

**********

When the door opened Duncan thought to himself that he made a spectacular guest. He had brought with him a crate of canned coke and his Wii U controller. If Kim was going to kick his ass around the room on Mario Kart at least he was going to have his own controls. 

He smiled widely as she opened the door. Her eyes were heavy with lack of sleep. “Hey Kim.” He said brightly, as she leant far out of the doorway and looked each way up and down the street. “You okay?”

“Did you see anyone?” She asked him looking up sharply. 

“Nope.” He said looking a little bewildered. He hadn’t really been looking but he didn’t want to admit that. “Just you and me and a massive caffeine hangover.” He grinned holding up his offering. “And chicken noodle soup. You made chicken noodle soup, right?”

“What?” She asked blinking away her confusion, then shaking her head. “Yeah, Sure. Food. Right. I can do that.” 

Kim stepped back from the doorway and Duncan shouldered his way through, shutting the door closed behind him with his foot, before striding off into the kitchen to fill the fridge with the crate of drinks. 

Kim had obviously spent a lot of time unpacking the last week she had been in the new house. Looking around, all Duncan could detect of the move was a pile of broken down cardboard boxes by the back door. “You finished unpacking already?” He asked as he pulled the fridge door open. Without waiting for an answer he continued. “I swear, when me and Charlie moved into the flat it took us months to finish unpacking the last box.” 

Kim followed Duncan and swiped a can as soon as he ripped open the box, walking the few feet to the kitchen table and falling into a chair with a sigh. “I hate living out of boxes.” She commented. “Thought I would get it done sooner rather than later.” 

The two friends descended into a comfortable silence as Duncan finished loading the fridge, then breaking up the box and placing it by the back door, with all of the others. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Kim’s head shoot up from it’s previous position cradled in her right hand. “Do you hear that?”

Duncan shook his head and strained his ears to listen. He didn’t hear anything except the distant sounds of cars at the end of the street. 

“I don’t think I like this house, Duncan.” Kim confessed, sounding small. 

The blonde man strode over and plonked himself on a seat opposite his friend. “You love this house Kim.” He reminded her. “You were over the moon when they accepted your offer and you got it.” 

“I know.” She admitted. “But don't you think it’s weird how low the asking price was for something this size?” 

Duncan weighed the options in his mind. Pointing out to his best friend exactly what she sounded like, spouting some horror movie dialogue seemed a bit harsh when she honestly did look like she was on the verge of breaking down in some way. “Kim.” He started. “You’ve just moved house. You're stressed and need sleep.” 

“I’m only stressed and need sleep because of this stupid house!” Kim insisted, slapping her palm on the table. 

“How can a house be stupid Kim?” He asked her, not expecting the death glare she sent his way. “Okay.” he said slowly, back pedaling slightly. “How about this? We’ll make up the spare bed. Then we’ll pig out on chicken noodle soup and popcorn. While you scream and swear all the while beating me at Mario Kart.”

“You’ll stay the night?” She asked him resting down her drink and looking up at him. “Really?”

“Really.” He said with a decisive nod. 

Considering she looked so tired it came as quite a shock that she had the energy to literally spring up and wrap her arms around his neck. The phrase “thank you.” Coming from between her lips so quickly that the words seem to string together into one long noise. 

“That's okay.” Duncan said, patting her back. “Charlie went away for the weekend, so you’re actually keeping me company as well.” That only made her hug him tighter. “Okay Kim. Need to breathe now.” 

**********

“Ha. Suck on that.” Kim said throwing down the controller on the sofa, once again beating him mercilessly at the game. 

“Okay.” He huffed, giving up and leaving Luigi to sit in his car on the screen, destined never to finish the race. Or ever move again if Duncan had any say in it. “Let’s play something else.”

“Aww, come on Duncan.” Kim whined. “This is fun.” 

“It is when you keep winning.” He argued. 

“Don’t hate the player pal.” She smiled. “Hate the…” She paused and twisted her head around to the side sharply. “Did you hear that?” She asked him. 

“Yeah.” He said slowly, frowning towards the door. He stood up curiously. “Sounded like a,” He paused for breath and gave the best impression of a guttural groan he could. 

Kim however had turned on the sofa and was clutching at the back of it. Ready to use it as a really bad hiding place or as a shield. She didn’t look as though she had decided which yet. “Do you see what I mean now?” 

“It is a little freaky.” He admitted taking a few steps towards the open doorway.

“Duncan.” Kim whispered in a hiss. “Where are you going?” 

“I was going to check it out.” He said. 

Kims eyes went wide. “Has no one ever told you, to never split the party?” 

“This isn’t pathfinder Kim.” He deadpanned poking his head around the doorway. 

“It’s still good life advice.” She said jumping over the arm of the sofa and scurrying up behind him. “Has it gone?” 

Duncan looked up and down the empty hallway. “I don't think there was anything there to begin with.” 

Kim looked up at her friend but didn’t say anything further as she followed him out into the hallway. 

A low moan sounded from up the stairs, Kim wrapped her hand around Duncan’s forearm. The blonde man tried to ignore the painful grip that Kim had on his arm and slowly inched towards the stairs, almost dragging the woman with him. 

“Sounded like it was coming from up here.” He commented as her grip somehow got even stronger. 

“We can’t just go up there!” Kim insisted. 

“We don't have to.” Duncan said, emphasising the first word. “You can stay down here if you like.” He finished, shaking his arm to get her to release it and putting one foot on the first stair. 

“Should I tell Charlie anything if you don’t come back?” Kim asked him, still holding onto him and planting her feet squarely on the floor. 

He looked back down at her with a raised eyebrow. “Now you’re just trying to freak me out.” He accused. 

“Yes.” She admitted easily. “I don’t want you to leave me down here on my own. Or go off into the house, with the very strange, possibly haunted noises on your own.”

He sighed. Gently pulling his arm out of her grip. “If you’re so concerned go and make a pillow fort.” 

Kim scrunched her face up at him. “Pillow forts do not help Duncan.” 

“Of course they do.” Duncan shot back. “Worked all the time when I was a kid.” 

“Tell that to Cole in The Sixth Sense. That weird girl managed to get to him in his pillow fort.” 

Duncan snorted a laugh. “This is ridiculous.” He said dismissively. “I am going up to see what is making the noise, either you come with me or you stay here.” 

“Fine.” She said, wrapping both arms around the banister, defiant. 

“Fine.” He sighed and began to climb the stairs. 

Kim cleared her throat as he made it around halfway up the staircase. “I’m serious about giving Charlie a message for you.” 

“Stop it Kim.” He said quickening his pace as the groaning started up again. 

His investigation was a simple as opening doors to see where the noise was louder. It only took him three before he pulled open one on the landing and his whole body relaxed. “The pipes wouldn’t be so loud if you gave the heating a rest every now and then.” He called down the stairs and visibly inspecting the old looking pipes. 

“But this country is so cold.” She complained. 

“Yeah well. Turn it off for a second.” He said to her. 

She sighed, huffed, then stomped down the hallway to do as he asked. The groaning stopped instantly. 

“See?” He called down to her. “Nothing to fret over.” He closed the door with a smile, nodding in self satisfaction. Then catching movement out of the corner of his eye, he yelped. Loudly. He scurried down three steps and crouched against the bannister. 

“What is it?” Kim asked him, rushing to the bottom of the stairs. 

He whirled on her, pressing his finger to his lips. “What have you got in your bathroom?” 

Her eyes opened wide. “Shampoo?” She questioned in a high pitched voice. 

“Does your shampoo happen to have legs Kim?” He asked her his voice, somehow, just as high. 

********

Duncan’s hand shook the light in the small space, causing it to seem like it was flickering. 

“Do you think it’s gone?” Duncan asked, trying to ignore the pain in his knee from where he had bashed it on the bannister when he made a run for it.

Kim tucked the edge of the blanket tighter underneath the chair next to her, making sure nothing could penetrate their pillowy sanctuary without them noticing. “What exactly did you see?” 

Duncan took a breath, laying his phone down in the small space between them. “I don't know, looked kind of like an animal. No bigger than a cat but, it wasn’t a cat.” 

“What was it then?” They had both descended into whispers, feeling like being too loud would attract attention. 

Duncan shook his head and pushed his glasses further up his nose. “I don't like your house anymore Kim.” 

“I fucking told you something was werid.” She said, deepening her voice in a parody of her friend. “‘You're stressed, Kim.’ ‘You just need some sleep, Kim’ ‘It’s all in your imagination, Kim.’ ‘Been playing too many horror games, Kim’.” 

“I’m sorry! Okay? Is that what you want to hear?” Duncan hissed back to her. “But there has to be a reasonable explanation for this. Maybe you left a window open and a cat got in.” 

“You just said it wasn’t a cat!” Kim snapped back.

Duncan took a deep breath. “It was dark, I couldn't see properly. The lack of light was probably just playing tricks on me.” Kim did not look convinced. Duncan reached for the edge of the blanket. 

“Duncan Jones!” Kim said, voice back at full volume. “If you so much as uncover a corner of this pillow fort I swear to god-” 

He ignored her, pulling the blanket free and scooting backwards and out of their hastily made den. 

Kim crawled forwards and stuck her head out of the opening that Duncan had made. 

Everything was normal, exactly as they had left it when they had pilfered cushions from the sofa barely fifteen minutes earlier. 

Duncan pushed himself to his feet and offered Kim his hand. The smaller woman took it and he pulled her to her feet. “See.” Duncan said. “Nothing to worry about.” Kim didn't look convinced so he carried on talking. “We are two, full grown adults who are just letting our imaginations get the best of us.” 

Kim nodded along. “Yeah.” She agreed. “There no such thing as the supernatural.” 

“Everything has an explanation.” Duncan added. “But lets just make a pact, here and now.” He said holding out his pinky finger. “We never tell anyone about this ever.” He continued looking down at the pillow fort. 

“That's a good idea. We’d never hear the end of it.” Kim nodded and took his finger in hers. Shaking. “You just called us adults and now we’re doing a pinky swear.”

 

“Still binding.” He insisted, with a shallow shrug. 

She nodded. “You have a point.” As she looked up at him, solemnly swearing to keep this night between the two of them she watched Duncan's eyes go wide and his arm became rigid. “What is it?” She asked slowly. 

“Something just touched my hair.” He told her breathing heavily. “Do you see anything.” 

She tried to make it inconspicuous as she leant to the side. “There’s no one there, Duncan.” She said. 

“Weapons?” He asked her. 

Her eyes rolled in her sockets. “Kitchen?” They both nod at the new plan. “On Three. We run for the door.” 

“On three of after three?” He asked. 

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Now is really not the time, Duncan.” 

“You’re right.” He agreed. “So who counts?” 

*************

In the end neither of them counted. Duncan felt something else claw at the hair on the back of his neck and didn’t even wait for one. Making a mad dash towards the kitchen, leaving Kim to fend for herself. No one was touching her hair. So he didn’t feel all that guilty. 

He immediately took up the first solid objects his hand touched in the dark, ran through the kitchen to huddle against the back door. Whimpering. 

Kim wasn’t far behind. Skidding across the tiled floor. “What happened to three?” She paused a second. “Or two for that matter.”

He didn't even look down at his ‘weapons’ as he thrust one at the woman next to him. “No time. Take this.” 

“A spatula?” She asked, her voice flat.

“It was dark and it’s a new environment for me, I don't know where you keep the proper weapons.” 

Kim took a swing, the flat edge of the spatula striking Duncan's upper arm with a very satisfying crack, so was the shallow ‘ow’ he emitted. “Okay. it’s not actually that bad.” She said nodding in approval. “But what are you going to do? Mash the ghosts face?” 

Duncan looked down at the stainless steel potato masher in his hand. “We don’t even know if it has a face.” He realised. 

“Well.” Kim said. “That’s certainly a thought that isn’t going to scare the living fucking daylights out of me!” 

“I’m just telling it like it is!” He shouted back. 

Duncan watched as Kim took a huge breath, probably in preparation of a long triad that would leave him red faced but she didn’t speak. Instead her whole body tensed up and she seemed to be holding her breath. 

“Kim?” 

The vice on his arm was back and suddenly they were running, Kim practically pulling him up the stairs two at a time as she fled. 

She seemed to open the first door she touched and pulled them both inside. Closing the door behind them, plunging them into total darkness. Right next to the creaky boiler that had started this whole thing. “Something touched me.” She hissed. 

“Yeah. I’d guessed.” He whispered back and they both fell into silence, until Duncan looks over to where he thought Kim was. “Why did we run upstairs? We could have gone outside.”

There is a long pause. “Crap!” 

“Shhhh. It might hear you.” Duncan whispered. 

“Sorry.” Kim whispered then said in a voice that was barely above a breath. “Crap.” 

“Panicked?” Duncan asked. 

“Little bit. Yeah.” She said. 

*************

“Kim.” Duncan said after a long silence between them. 

“Shhh.” She hissed. “I’m trying to hear where it is.” 

“Right.” He said, going quiet for all of a second. “Kim?” 

“What?” She asked him exasperated. 

“You know that pact we made?” He questioned. 

“The one where we never tell anyone ever what’s happened here.” Kim said. “I vaguely recall, yes.” 

“Well.” Duncan said, pausing to swallow the lump in his throat. “Do you think we should call someone?”

“After we made that pact?” Kim asked. 

“Yeah.”

“To never tell anyone, ever what happened here.”

“That's the one.” 

“You want to break our pinky swear, never to tell anyone ever about tonight. So we can what? Call for help?” 

“That's what i’m saying.”

“Good idea.” Kim said. “Who ya gonna call?” 

The pause was longer this time. “I’m trying really, really hard not to answer in song, Kim.” 

“I know.” She said. “I thought it might break the tension.” 

“And I ruined it.” 

“I forgive you.” 

Duncan nodded in the darkness. “Okay, get your phone out and we’ll call Hannah.” 

“Hannah isn’t scared of anything.” Kim agreed.

“Exactly.” Duncan said. “Everyone is scared of Hannah, I bet this thing will be too.” 

Kim’s arm brushed against his as she went for her phone. “D-Duncan?” 

“Kim?” He answered automatically.

“Do you have your phone?” She asked. 

“No, it’s in the blanket fort.” 

“Ah.” 

“Ah?” Duncan asked. “What is ‘Ah’?” 

“Well.” Kim said slowly. “I may have put my phone on charge.” She admitted. “When we were playing Nintendo.” Then after a beat she clarified further. “Downstairs.” 

“Ah.” Duncan said. 

“You see.” Kim said. “It's a perfectly good word to use in this situation.”

“What about a landline?” 

“No one has a landline anymore, Duncan.” 

“I do.” 

“Well we aren’t at your lovely flat with a landline and pipes that don't make stupid sounds and a fucking demon inhabiting the place, are we Duncan?” Kim said her voice rising to a shout with each passing word. 

“Demon?” He asked. “How do you know it’s a demon?” 

“I don’t.” Kim said. “I’m guessing.”

Duncan could feel the colour draining from his face. “Then why did you say demon?” 

“I’m sorry Duncan.” She said and then began to shout again. “I left my monster manual in my other pajama bottoms!”

“There's no need to shout at me!” Duncan practically screamed back. 

“What do you suggest I do then, Duncan?” She shouted. “Because from where I-” She broke off mid sentence and let out a massive scream that sent Duncan’s ears ringing in the small space. 

“What is it!” Duncan shouted over her high pitched screaming right next to his ear. 

His friend was busy trying to crawl over him. Losing purchase every time she moved. “Something has my ankle!” She bellowed back. 

Duncan’s fight or flight response kicked in. The hairs all along his body stood to attention and the back of his hands went cold. So he reached up, pulled on the handle for the door and they both tumbled into the hallway. Crawling, scratching, skidding. Anything to get away from the tiny cupboard they had been hiding in. 

**********

Duncan yelped as a sound echoed through the house. A steady banging that seemed to reverberate through the walls. “Not again.” He pleaded.

“Police! Open up!” 

“It’s a trick.” Kim said almost instantly, her spatula held close to her chest. “It would say that.” 

“But what if it isn’t?” Duncan asked. “Then we have to open the door. It’s the police.” 

“We can risk that right?” Kim asked him. Reaching out to pull at the bed clothes that hung down at the edges of the bed. “I don’t want to come out of here.” She admitted. 

Duncan had to agree, under the bed was the best idea they had come up with so far. Nothing ever dared to come under here. “I like it here too.” He said. 

“So we’ll just stick to the plan?” Kim said. “We’ll hide here until it goes away.” 

The banging picked back up. More shouts demanding they open the door. 

“I’m not going back out there, Kim.” Duncan said. “Not past the demon spawning boiler again.” 

“Me neither.” She said but the banging against the front door persisted. “But that man is being very loud. What if he angers it more?”

“Then he’ll go after the policeman and leave us alone?” Duncan suggested. “Then we can see if we can climb out the window while it’s distracted.”

“No Duncan.” Kim sighed. “We already looked. It's too high.” 

“Oh yeah.” He said frowning. “Then what do we do?” 

“I’m all for crying.” Kim suggested. 

“What again?” Duncan said. 

“Shut up. You started it last time.” She snapped and they both flinched as the door banged again. “He does sound very angry. Maybe we should answer the door?”

“You just said we could cry again.” Duncan whined. “Crying means staying here. I’m all for this.” 

“I mean. Crying doesn’t mean we have to stay here.” She said slowly.

“Now you’ve ruined it!” Duncan snapped at her. Covering his head as the door went again. It seemed to be getting louder. “I feel bad for not answering the door.” 

“Me too.” Kim admitted. “If we go really fast, maybe we can outrun the demon.” 

“I thought we’d agreed not to use the ‘D’ word anymore.” Duncan said. 

“Well what should we call it?” Kim asked. 

Duncan began nodding to himself “Tony.” 

“Right.” Kim said. “I like that name. Nothing scary about Tony.” 

“Yeah. He’s a good guy.” Duncan agreed. Flinching as the door banged again. “We should get that.” 

*********

“Morning stoners!” Smith called as he entered the kitchen at yogtowers with his two companions where Duncan and Kim were sitting eating lunch. 

“Fuck off, Smithy.” Kim replied, her voice flat. 

“Awwwh, don't be like that Quimothy.” Ross replied nudging her chair with his foot. “You’re famous!” 

Trott slapped something down on the table in front of the small woman with a smirk. “Can I get your autograph?” He asked, blinking his eyes rapidly at her. “It would mean so much to me.” 

Duncan ignored their words, Kim could chew out Hat Films without any help from him, and instead turned the newspaper that Trott had put on the table so he could read it. 

He glared at the first line of the article. ‘A Bristol couple were arrested on Saturday night after complaints from neighbours of screams, bangs and shouting from the residence. Toxic mold found growing on the boiler is thought to have given the couple vivid hallucinations and no charges have been filed.’ 

Duncan groaned and let his head fall to the table, his forehead pressed against the wood. 

“Why does everyone think we’re a couple?” Kim shriked.


End file.
